The Next Frontier of Civil Rights

We are proud to introduce the 4th of our 2020 Summit Scholarship recipients: Humaira Falkenberg. Humaira has an extraordinary passion for elevating women of color in the outdoors, which is deeply rooted in her personal life story. Humaira, like AWE, aims to break down barriers and increase women’s access to the outdoors. She is older than the rest of our 2020 scholarship recipients, has a long and storied history with pushing herself in the mountains, and is committed to paying it forward. As you read on to get to know Humaira, you’ll understand why she is such a tremendous match for the Summit Scholarship program.

Humaira’s stipend is made possible by Ultimate Direction’s #RunYourOwnTrail campaign.

Humaira Falkenberg, 50, Washington

AWE: Tell us a bit about yourself.

I live at the confluence (Kah’eese) of the mighty Columbia (Wimahl) river and the Pacific Ocean, home to the first nations of Chinook, Clatsop, Kathlamet, Wahkiakum, and Willapa, in the small port town of Ilwaco, WA. Ilwaco has a year-round population of 500 and is Northwest hub for commercial and sport fishing.  It is also home to old growth forests, abundant wildlife and lush coastal headlands that all provide me deep solitude, tranquility and peace. 

I work in the electric sector for Pacific Public Utility as their Power Resources Manager. On the surface, the nature of electric sector work may sound ordinary and boring--it is in fact quite extraordinary. I am part of a larger team that aims to deliver least cost, reliable, renewable, carbon-free electricity as an essential service to our rural community. The work is not glorious or exciting but, in its humility, to serve others lays the reward.

AWE: What ignited your love for the outdoors and for mountaineering?

My destiny was sealed when at birth when my grandmother (Nani) nick named me pahaaran--which means 'of the mountain' as I was born in the northern mountainous region of Pakistan. Though I never mountaineered in Pakistan, as a child the high alpine vistas were my backyard and play ground. While the norms are changing, it was not culturally accepted for women and girls to partake in outdoor activities - much less mountaineering. However, that did not stop me from recreating in the outdoors. I was fortunate in that my two older brothers took me where ever they went whether it was chasing goats, hiking, climbing trees to any other adventurous mischief. 

My first exposure to mountains was of course the Himalaya (Margala hills to the Karakoram) but my adult immersion started in the bunny hills of the Berkshires followed by the Rockies, the hills between Sweden and Norway, the Tatra, Cotswalds, Pennines, Lake District of Cumbria, Cairngorms, Highlands, Wind River, Tetons, Bearthooths, Sawtooths, Sierras, Chugach, and more recently the Cascades.  Progressively, over decades of exposure, my being in the mountains has allowed my skill set to deepen--from walking to hiking, to alpine climbing, skiing, snowboarding, mountaineering to ski/snowboard mountaineering. 

AWE: Do you feel like you are getting treated differently - at work, in the mountains - because you are a woman, and a woman of color too?

Suffice it to say that I have been weaving through largely male dominated cross sections throughout my entire life--from early schooling (I went to an all-boys school in Pakistan), to the study of science, recreation (mountaineering), work (electric sector) to teaching skiing/snowboarding and to designing & building a house. Even more, as a woman of color, the representation and inclusion in any of the above fields is generally rare.  The intersectionality of gender, race, and immigration status is complex but I became acutely aware as a woman of color in the outdoors there is indeed an adventure gap and some want redlining not just in neighborhoods but in public outdoor spaces as well. 

It was a gut punch when I received my magazine from the National Parks and Conservation Association and read with sunken grief: "If minorities do not like going to the parks, it is their loss. But please don't let us be duped into thinking it is our loss.”

Two months after my 24th birthday, I had yet to visit my first U.S. National Park though I had been aspiring to climb 14ers in Colorado for quite some time. I had been conditioning with short 3-5 day backpacking trips in anticipation of a lifelong dream to go to Rocky Mountain National Park. It was a gut punch when I received my magazine from the National Parks and Conservation Association and read with sunken grief: "If minorities do not like going to the parks, it is their loss. But please don't let us be duped into thinking it is our loss. Many of us look to the parks as an escape from the problems ethnic and minorities create. Please don't modify our parks to destroy our oasis." The tone, tenor and appeal was similar to several other letters to the editor in that issue of National Parks magazine.  In the early 1990s, the National Park Service had wanted to take measures to advance racial diversity in the national parks. Apparently, many in the public in United States felt comfortable enough to send letters objecting to creating more inclusive outdoor national parks space. That. was. in. 1994. I was 24 years old and those words had been seared into the inner landscape of my soul.

As I scaled up Longs Peak in Rock Mountain National Park the following year for my 25th birthday, it wasn't the class three exposure that unnerved me. Something had gotten deep under my skin. My joy at standing atop a 14er had been muted and erased; it was as if I had trespassed into the national park without permission. The words from the letter to the editor of National Parks magazine would pierce my spirit and while traveling through outdoor spaces, invisibility would be my shield. To this day, I quite literally dress in all black or grey whether skiing, climbing, hiking, backpacking or kitesurfing. No brilliant turquoise or flamboyant orange or fire red for me. Invisibility of dress allows me to navigate racist societal structures safely. Proficiency of language, knowledge of code switching, tact and silence are all tools I lean on. 

On a ski chair, someone almost always asks "where are YOU from?" - The next series of questions invariably leads to why Pakistan is a terrorist state, why do the Taliban rule the country, why doesn't the country want peace and the expectation is to provide twitter sized answers in the 10-minute chair ride.

While I have experienced overt racist and anti-immigrant sentiment ('go home' written on my car) it is the soft, quiet, complacent microaggressions bordering on "harmless jokes" and subtle innuendo that are like daily paper cuts. While on a solo ski tour in the Alpental area, I encountered four men who remark how unusual it is "to see your kind" on a ski tour. My reaction of course is to diffuse the comment with humor, being mindful that if I'm terse, I could find myself in a very uncomfortable or unsafe situation. On a ski chair, someone almost always asks "where are YOU from?" When my remark of "Ilwaco" doesn't satiate their curiosity, they say "where are you REALLY from?" As if my comment of "Pakistan" will satisfy their thirst to their internal question of why a brown woman dressed in Patagonia is going up Chair 5 at Big Mountain. The next series of questions invariably leads to why Pakistan is a terrorist state, why do the Taliban rule the country, why doesn't the country want peace and the expectation is to provide twitter sized answers in the 10-minute chair ride. As a woman of color I find the responsibility to educate, carry the burden of emotional labor all the while taking daily paper cuts of racism exhausting. 

At 50, I've been to over 25 national Parks in the U.S. And while I still dress to be invisible, I'm using my story, strength, and voice to be seen and heard. 

AWE: Was there ever a moment in the mountains where you questioned why you put yourself out there?

Yes. At age 27, I broke down and cried for my mom, Much to my parents dissuasion, I backpacked alone across from the southwest coast of England to Wales into Scotland for nearly 2.5 months covering over 1000km on foot.  While backpacking through Wales, I came into Snowdonia National Park. I got off trail to set up camp which consisted of setting up my green Mountain Range Cobra bivy with a Ridgerest closed cell foam pad and sleeping bag. I tucked my bivy in a discreet area as I walked some 10 km to get provisions. Upon my return at dusk, I couldn't find my bivy and it was raining and getting dark fast. All sorts of thoughts went running through my head. No one was around and I hadn't seen anyone on trail. Without the aid of GPS I relied exclusively on my map, navigation with a compass, reading of geographic features, and measurement of distance traveled by time to identify the general proximity of where I set up camp. I simply could not find my bivy. How could I have been so mistaken? Even with the use of my headlamp, I spent what seemed like hours looking for my bivy without success.  It was dark. It's then that I broke down and cried. I cried for the comfort of my mom.  The Cymru (Welsh) rain was dripping through the gap between my neck & back of my rain jacket chilling me to the core and it was evident I would need to spend the night out. I leaned up against a rock and sulked. I asked myself why did I put myself out there?

I went on this solo trip because the year previous, my friend Erik Sindhoj of Sweden and his close friend Gerel had done a similar but shorter trip. They had invited me on their journey but due to school, I couldn't go so I promised myself that I would go the following year. I wasn't about to be out-hiked or out adventured by two guys. So there I was sitting with FOMO in the rain with darkness and no bivy, crying for my mom. I felt alone.  My mother is a woman of great wisdom, patience, strength and resilience.  I knew she wouldn't give up; she has grit. Having strong courageous women modeled in my life is a reason why I put myself out there. As I turned my neck, my headlamp gave a quick reflection. I walked towards the reflection--the reflector tape on the cordelette revealed the comfort & nurturance of my mom waiting for me in the form of my Mountain Range bivy. 

AWE: How did you get involved with SheJumps? What's your role there? 

I came to SheJumps first by attending a "Get the Girls Out" ski/snowboard event at Mt. Bachelor organized by my strong, courageous, creative and super rad friend Lindsey Clark. Approximately 50 or 60 women and girls gathered to ski/snowboard together; moms with their daughters, sisters with their women friends--it was an all around showcase of women dominating the slopes of Mt. Bachelor. Women and girls were organized in ability levels. I spent the day riding with some of the strongest woman skiers. mountaineers and athletes including Elizabeth White, Maddie Phillips, Megan Kelly, Ashely Teren and Lindsey Clark though I initially felt underqualified. We encouraged each other to push the boundaries of our comfort and ski lines that we otherwise wouldn't consider. That single day was a tipping point in my riding and confidence in snowsports. I didn't truly know my potential until I came under the umbrella of women supporting women in snowsports. Soon thereafter, I became an advocate for the organization and its mission to increase participation of women and girls in outdoor activities through free to low cost programming. I sponsored the participation of 60 girls in SheJumps Wild Skills Program (which teaches young girls the survival and technical skills needed for outdoor adventuring) with a caveat that the funding would be earmarked for girls of color. As I grew in my athletic, mountaineering and snowsports abilities, I observed a lack of a pipeline for young girls and women of color in outdoor activities--not because there weren't any but because there is very little coverage or amplification of images and stories. Elite women of color athletes like Sophia Danenberg, Brooklyn Bell, Lhakpa Sherpa,  Emily Taylor, Faith Eve Briggs, Junko Tabei, Sabrina Chapman, Viridiana Alvarez Chavez, Grace Anderson, Shelma Jun, Samiya Rafiq and Samina Baig have scaled 8000 meter peaks or undertaken exceptional outdoor adventures or set world records ---yet their images and stories rarely make the cover or full features in Aplinist or Rock and Ice, Backcountry, Outdoor magazines. My young nieces, Aysha, Alia, Amy, Maria, Cristinia--all women and girls of color-- deserve to have strong, brave, athletic women of color participating in outdoors modeled to them. I was motivated to make a difference.  

In addition to the mountaineering and snowsports, I love kitesurfing. I first learned in Cabarete, Dominican Republic. I wanted to see more women like me advance in their skill set and the best way to do that was to get more women of color instructors certified. I worked with Dakine, Slingshot, Ride Engine and pro athlete/kitesurfer Laura Maher and Slingshot brand ambassador Lisa Schlecht under the auspices of SheJumps to bridge the equipment and gear divide for Dominican women interested in pursuing kitesurfing. All this interaction with SheJumps led to an invitation to the join the Board of Directors where I served as the Vice Chair for 2 years. 

AWE: Climbing, snowboarding, etc from the outside can seem like a self-centered pursuit. What's your take on the role the mountain sports play in our lives? 

Any time spent in nature regardless of activity is a path of self-evolution. Spending time to better harmonize with nature cultivates inner quiet and peace. For me the mountains relax my skin and my breath deepens. I'm most alive in a winter snow storm skiing. I liken my mountain time as meditation in motion. The mountains, oceans, rivers, and forests teach us to be present.  However, I would be remiss, to not acknowledge the institutional and systemic barriers that preclude many marginalized communities' access to the outdoors. It is our collective obligation and responsibility to remove barriers of access for all so that spending time in nature isn't perceived as a non-productive pursuit. Connection with nature and access to outdoors is the next frontier of civil rights. It is in fact a matter of public health and wellness. 

AWE: Which part of the Kilimanjaro climb are you most looking forward to? And what are you most worried about?

The most rewarding aspect of the trip to Kilimanjaro will be the opportunity to be part of an all-women's expedition. I'm most concerned/conscientious about how best to interact with our Tanzanian partners ensuring dignity and respect of another culture. I am very sensitive to participating in outdoor recreation that can appear as extraction-based adventure so I will mature myself on how best to be a guest in Tanzania. 

AWE: How are you training for the climb?

 Best conditioning for me is to put rocks in my backpack and walk uphill. I'm logging 8 to 10 miles a day for a 7 day weekly average of 50 miles with rest or lower mileage days. Getting altitude had been difficult due to the earlier shut downs in WA state due to COVID-19 pandemic.

AWE: If you could give advice to your younger self (think: you at 25-30), what would you say? 

Move to the Pacific Northwest earlier. Live life with the rule of thirds: Tackle objectives whether professionally, athletically or otherwise with the one-third rule:  1/3 in my comfort zone "I got this", 1/3 in my stretch zone "This is tough but I'm going to push hard", and 1/3 "I'm scared I'll fail and there will be consequences, but despite fear, I'm doing this."

AWE: You are older than most of the other Summit Scholarship recipients. What are your goals for your next decade? 

Turning 50 is a milestone and I see this decade as one where I further amplify the voices of other women. I hope to convert my parents' home is Pakistan into a school so that women learn trades & start a micro-lending program so that the stitches of finance and income don't hold women back. For myself, I want to climb Jefferson, North Sister, Olympus, Eldorado, the Grand Teton, Prusik, ski the magic powder of Japan, ski in Chile and Argentina (was supposed to be there this August for my 50th), travel to Peru, continue ski and snowboard coaching at Mt. Hood, snowkite the Big Horns, snowkite Thompson Pass, learn to kitefoil, learn upholstery, learn Spanish, publish a book of poetry, hike the JMT, walk the Camino del Santiago, build an off the grid home in the mountains, and groom other women at work to advance their careers. 

AWE: What's the best place for people to find you if they want to follow along on your adventures?

I am on Instagram as @snowandkitegirl and on Facebook as Humaira Falkenberg.